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107: The Posse – WOE.BEGONE
[Warning: This episode contains a depiction of violence. Listener discretion is advised.]
The Base lose their treehouse defences and become open to an attack from Hunter Hartley. The gang become vulnerable to a villain who forces cowboys to clean their teeth.
CREDITS:
Michelle Kan as Marissa Ng
David Ault as Ty Betteridge
Aleksandr Batenko as Boris
Taylor Michaels as Chance
William A. Wellman as Shadow
Lucille Valentine as Anne
TRANSCRIPT
We hear Marissa grunt in discomfort as she is transported to the saferoom.
MARISSA
What the fuck? Where the hell am I? Mike? Ty Betteridge!? Ty fuckin’ Betteridge!?
TY [AWKWARDLY]
At– at your service…
MARISSA
Untie me this instant, you fuckin’ dweeb! Is this the Flinchite compound? Looks like shit. Steel reinforced shitbox. I’m not going to let you make a buncha copies of me like you did with Mike! What did you do to this one? Dressed him up like a cowboy? You won’t get away with this. I was working my patrol route at O.V.E.R. when you kidnapped me. People will ask questions. Powerful people. They’ll know I’m missing and they’ll come after you. There will be hell to pay.
MICHAEL
Marissa, it’s alright. Ty’s with me. We’re gonna explain everything. You’re in our mission saferoom. You’re not in any danger. Hold your horses.
MARISSA
What the fuck is going on, Mike? What’s with the voice? Is this some sort of experiment that he’s doing on you to… turn you into a cowboy?
MICHAEL
It’s Michael, thank ya very kindly. We’re rustlin’ up a posse, you see. That correction that the Hunters issued awhile back did a lot more than they said it did. Changed a lot of important events, killed a lot of good people, and put the Hunters in charge of Base. Unfortunately for them, they left behind a couple stragglers that remember how it used to be.
MARISSA
You’re not planning to put that loser in charge, are you?
TY
No, of course I’m not in charge. I only want to return to the previous iteration. Michael and I have the same goal. My project at the compound has been discontinued as a result of the Hunters’ shenanigans. All of the Tys are… gone. I’m a wanted man. I just want to get back to how things were.
MICHAEL
Marissa, back in my iteration, the Hunters weren’t in charge of the Base. We all ran it together. Edgar and Anne were the brains of the operation and folks like you and me were in the field, doin’ experiments, strengthening the technology.
MARISSA
Who the hell is Edgar?
MICHAEL
Mike’s husband. H made Mike kill him at the start of this correction. Love of his life. A lot of them missions you been sent on were to take out our allies that were causing trouble for the Hunters. Folks we used to know, folks I still know. Now I understand you don’t got a dog in this fight like I do. For all I know, you don’t mind a lick if the Hunters are runnin’ the place, but–
MARISSA
Nah, fuck that guy. Who does Hunter Hartley think he is? First he got promoted to Tier 2 before me even though we both applied for the position. That asshole doesn’t even take his job seriously. I work so much harder than him. My route is actually important. I’m the last line of defense in front of Tier 2. If something gets in there, then there’s real trouble. Hunter’s route is busy work. It’s no wonder that he screwed up a correction. He’s not qualified to run a ham sandwich, much less Base. You said Anne was running it? I could see that. She’d have the place organized and on schedule, that’s for sure. So, yeah, count me in, Michael.
TY
To reiterate: you do understand that the Hunters hold an enormous amount of power here because we’re essentially living in a reality that they constructed, correct? There will be consequences to undermining him. It’s going to be complete sabotage.
MARISSA
No sweat. Bring it on.
TY
You’re sure?
MARISSA
Yeah, fuck it. If I have to choose between Hunter and Michael dressed up like a cowboy, I pick the cowboy every time.
TY
He is a cowboy in the other iteration, you know.
MARISSA
Sounds fun. All the more reason to get back there.
TY
Marissa, I appreciate your enthusiasm but I feel that I must emphasize that what we are doing is dangerous. People could die. I dare say that someone will die.
MARISSA
It’s already dangerous, going on missions for H. I’m a big fan of blowing stuff up, but a mission every week is too much for me. I broke two ribs on the last mission that H sent me on. Well… I might have been a little careless and crashed my patrol cart into someone at what some people might ignorantly call an “unsafe speed,” but I did it for his stupid mission. And if they didn’t want me to go that fast, they wouldn’t have made it so easy to take off the piece that limits how fast the cart can go.
MICHAEL
Speakin’ of that cart, do you remember a fella, name of Ravi? He worked with ya in the other iteration.
MARISSA
Doesn’t sound familiar…
TY
My intel suggests that Ravi was helping Base work against the Hunter takeover before the previous iteration ended.
MICHAEL
He got involved because he used to work alternating shifts with you.
MARISSA
So if things go right, are you saying that I will have someone to cover my off days at work?
MICHAEL
Up to a point.
MARISSA
Hell yeah. The pot just got sweeter.
TY
I can see why she was your first choice, Michael.
MICHAEL
She’s a scrapper.
MARISSA
Can somebody please untie me from this chair contraption, now that I’m in your good graces?
MICHAEL
Oh yeah, sure, no problem.
TY
So Marissa is greenlit?
MICHAEL
Yep.
We hear untying sounds.
TY
Wonderful. I will change her participation status in my spreadsheet.
MARISSA
So, what’s the plan? Is it just going to be the three of us? One for each Hunter? I call dibs on the oldest one. He always raised my hackles for some reason.
MICHAEL
We ain’t fightin’ ‘em head on like that. Won’t work. We gotta be clever about it.
TY
I have written up an extensive mission briefing document for you to peruse while we prepare. It explains our understanding of this iteration, contains a description of the previous iteration, and how we plan to use this mission to change the latter into something more closely resembling the former.
MICHAEL
And that involves us rustlin’ up a posse. We’re goin’ down the list, startin’ with you. We need all the help we can get. And since you’re on board, I suppose next up would be Charlie.
MARISSA [STERNLY]
No. Nope. Absolutely not. Not in a million years. You leave Charlie out of this. She’s not involved in Hunter’s nonsense and it is going to stay that way. Got it?
MICHAEL
She’d want to fight, though. Especially since we have you on our side.
MARISSA
She would want to fight and she would kick so much ass at it. She would annihilate any loser stupid enough to step in front of her. But I’m not going to let you put her in danger. I’m drawing a line in the sand. You said people were going to die. I don’t care how small the risk is. I’m not putting Charlie in danger.
MICHAEL
Ty, take Charlie off of the list.
TY
Consider it done. Marissa in the green column, Charlie in the blue column.
MARISSA
Besides, we need someone to avenge our deaths and set things right if something happens and you fuck this up, Mikey boy.
TY
That’s a really good idea, actually.
MICHAEL
Can you set her up with some instructions, Marissa? Break glass in case of emergency type stuff?
MARISSA
No prob. It’s not like she’ll ever even see it. Because we’re gonna knock this shit out on our first try.
TY
I’d like to think so.
MICHAEL
Attagirl, Marissa.
MARISSA
Alright, the team is coming together. Who’s next?
OPENING THEME PLAYS.
We hear the time travel noise. BORIS grunts in frustration and disorientation at the time travel.
BORIS
Hmph. How did I…? Michael? Привет! Мой Мишка. It is good to see you. You have taken me from the apartment? Where did you take me? And this is your friend from hallway. Hello…
TY
Ty Betteridge. Nice to see you again.
BORIS
And who is your friend with shotgun?
MARISSA
Marissa Ng. One false move and your brains end up smeared on the back wall. Got it?
MICHAEL
Marissa, that’s really not necessary…
BORIS
[Laughs.] I like your friend, Michael. She is protective. There is no need to worry. No false moves from me. I think I understand what is happening. Pleased to meet you, Marissa. That is impressive collection of weapons on the wall behind you. Michael, I thought you did not even have rifle. Just pistol.
MICHAEL
This whole place is on loan from a friend.
BORIS
…Your friend is dead, yes?
MICHAEL
How did you know?
BORIS
It was in your eyes. So now we are assassinating the man who killed your friend.
TY
It is more complicated than that, I’m afraid. Killing the person responsible wouldn’t have the intended effect.
BORIS
Because of the time travel.
TY
Correct. Michael, how much does he know exactly?
MICHAEL
Maybe ya just had that time travel look in your eye, pilgrim. I don’t know what all Boris knows. My Boris knew more than he should have, but that was in my iteration. Boris, what did Michael tell you when he was living in the apartment? Not me. I mean the Michael that ain’t a cowboy.
BORIS
Are you not cowboy Michael?
MICHAEL
I am.
BORIS
And you are saying that you did not tell me about your organization?
MICHAEL
I did not.
BORIS
Then there are two cowboys. When you visited and you were not a cowboy, you would not talk about time travel. When you were cowboy, you would talk. I know about you traveling through time and your organization in America and working at O.V.E.R. You do not remember these conversations?
MICHAEL
It weren’t me, partner.
BORIS
Then there are two cowboys. Can you please put gun down?
MICHAEL
Lower your weapon, Marissa.
MARISSA
[Huffs.] Alright, fine. But I’m watching you.
BORIS
She is a good friend to you, Michael.
TY
Could there be another iteration of you somewhere out there, Michael?
MICHAEL
Not that I know of.
MARISSA
Are there any left in your torture compound, Ty?
MICHAEL
They killed ‘em all.
TY
We were doing important research. But, alas, no. There are no longer any Mikes in the compound. Or Tys, for that matter. None of the remaining Michaels in the compound were cowboys anyway. I don’t think the compound is the origin point for the second cowboy.
MARISSA
Well he had to have come from somewhere.
MICHAEL
What did this other cowboy tell you, Boris?
BORIS
Cowboy Michael explained that there are many Mikes and Michaels because they are all traveling through time. I knew there were many Mikes. I am not blind. Two Mikes rent apartment from me. One walks Bruno every morning. The Cowboy said that this time used to be different, much better for him: Mike had loving husband Edgar and Michael had cowboy August, they had power over time travel. Until someone, I do not know name…
MICHAEL
Hunter.
BORIS
–Until Hunter changed everything and took over. Michael told me to prepare, that I might need to do my part to protect Mike. I told him “do not worry. If there is fight, I will fight.” I knew time was coming because Mike and his apartment became… difficult to keep track of. Headache for their poor landlord. They would appear and disappear. My memory would begin to feel out of place.
MICHAEL
That’s all you need to know, pard. We’re tryin’ to put everything back in place.
BORIS
Which is why I thought you brought me here to help kill this Hunter.
TY
Killing him won’t return us to the other iteration of the timeline. I wrote a mission brief explaining everything we’re doing and what effects we are hoping for it to have that you can read when we are done here.
MARISSA
I think we can still kill Hunter for good measure.
MICHAEL
We will deal with the Hunters if they become involved in the plot, but that ain’t the focus. Our mission is to break two folks outta jail, name of Ryan and CANNONBALL.
BORIS
It is an honor that you brought me here, Michael. You knew I would stand with you. If I didn’t agree, you would have to kill me.
TY
Now, not necessarily…
MICHAEL
Yup.
MARISSA
Yep. Nailed it.
MICHAEL
The plan would propagate.
BORIS
You cannot allow anyone who declines your offer to leave. If I said no, I could go to Hunter or Hunter could get to me. There is no choice.
MARISSA
That’s basically what propagation is. Boris is right. We can’t bring anyone here that we aren’t willing to kill if they say they don’t want to do it.
MICHAEL
You’re right. It would jeopardize the whole mission.
TY
With that in mind: do you want to take anyone off the list, Michael?
MICHAEL
[After considerable silence.] No. Untie Boris. Mark him down as Green. Reset the room. Onto the next person.
We hear the sounds of Marissa untying Boris.
MARISSA
There you go.
BORIS
Did you get shotgun off of that wall?
MARISSA
Yep! There’s all kinds of cool shit up there. C’mon and I’ll show you the grenades.
BORIS
Are we using grenades on mission?
Audio begins fading out for scene transition.
MARISSA
I sure hope so. And there’s a motorcycle in the garage. We’ve gotta get a joyride in before we ride into battle.
BORIS
Perhaps… we ride into battle on motorcycle?
MARISSA
I like your way of thinking, Boris.
BORIS
Спасибо.
SCENE TRANSITION
We hear the time travel noise. CHANCE and SHADOW grunt in frustration and disorientation at the time travel.
CHANCE
Ugh. Hmmm… ? Ryan? You there?
SHADOW
Yeah, I’m here. [Groans.] Where are we? Mike? You transported us? What is going on?
MICHAEL
It’s Michael, thank ya very kindly.
CHANCE
Did Hunter turn you into a cowboy when he fucked up the correction? He was trying to erase you.
MICHAEL
No sir. I’m from another iteration.
CHANCE
Why did you put me in this chair with the ropes and not him?
MICHAEL
I was gonna make it so both of ya showed up tied in place, but we couldn’t find any more rope.
SHADOW
This is asinine. Chris, I’m untying you.
BORIS
Should I stop him?
MICHAEL
No, let him do it. But keep your weapons at the ready.
BORIS
These are not Chris and Ryan from briefing…?
TY
I thought their names were Chance–
CHANCE
He told them our names are Chance and Shadow, babe.
SHADOW
Of course he did. I don’t even get it.
CHANCE
They’re the dogs from Homeward Bound.
SHADOW
I know. But why?
MICHAEL
There was already a Chris and Ryan involved in the situation back then, just like there is now. The whole reason that I transported you is that we’re rustlin’ up a posse to break Ryan and CANNONBALL (that’n’s Chris) out of the Flinchite compound.
CHANCE
Can he not simply let them out?
TY
I don’t work at the compound anymore.
MICHAEL
The Hunters ruffled way too many feathers when they made their big correction a little while back. Turns out that’s what put them in charge of Base. There’s a whole other iteration where they ain’t in charge. That’s what I’m from. We’re trying to get back there. That’s why you’re here.
MARISSA
We’re putting the Hunters back in their place.
SHADOW
And if we say that we’re not interested?
MARISSA
Then we can’t allow you to leave.
CHANCE
You’re going to shoot us?
SHADOW
Marissa isn’t going to shoot us.
MARISSA
Don’t be so sure. But even if I don’t, Boris might.
BORIS
Would be the first time I have shot a person.
MICHAEL
I’d be more afraid of Ty. Cold and clinical.
TY
I don’t appreciate that characterization. But, they make an important point. We would have to ensure that you would never be able to propagate news about our plan.
MICHAEL
And dead folks don’t propagate.
SHADOW
So, is this just a hostage situation or is there something in it for us if we cooperate?
MICHAEL
Y’all can have some peace and quiet. How many missions have the Hunters sent you two on?
CHANCE
We do our minimum of 4 per month and then we get out of there. We try to get them out of the way early instead of doing one every week.
SHADOWS [Sorta grumbly]
We’ve only done three this month because there hasn’t been a good time for both of us to do the last one yet.
MICHAEL
That ain’t no way to be. He’s gonna keep grindin’ ya under his boot for as long as he wants, pard. Y’all weren’t doin’ near as much work at Base before the correction. Not when me and Edgar were in charge.
CHANCE
Edgar as in the guy from O.V.E.R.?
TY
I explain it all in the briefing packet.
MICHAEL
But that ain’t what I’m offering. I’m proposin’ that Base cut ya loose if’n we come out on top. Y’all don’t hafta see us again if you don’t wanna. You don’t even gotta pop by and say howdy.
MARISSA
Except when we have game night.
CHANCE
Well, pass on game night. Marissa gets waaay too serious.
SHADOW
You cheat at Monopoly, Marissa.
MARISSA
Everybody cheats at Monopoly!
TY
I don’t.
BORIS
I am not afraid of cheater. I will win.
CHANCE
So, one last job and then we’re out? Or you kill us on the spot.
SHADOW
I still don’t think they’d do it.
TY
I can’t say what Marissa or Boris would do, but Michael would do it. It would tear him up inside for the rest of his life, but he’d do it. He has done it to Mikeys before. So, if that factors into your considerations, know that Michael would do it.
BORIS
What is answer, Chris and Ryan?
CHANCE
Hey! He knows our names!
SHADOW
We don’t actually have a choice and I resent you posing it to us as one.
CHANCE
He means that we’re in.
MICHAEL
I’m sorry to put the squeeze on ya but this is life or death for all of us. Y’all are part of the team. You stand to benefit, too. That’s why we brought you here.
SHADOW
We’re part of the team?
MICHAEL
Of course.
SHADOW
Which one of us is Chris and which one of us is Ryan?
There is a considerable pause.
TY
Don’t look at me! You told me to write “Chance and Shadow” in the plan documents!
BORIS
Chris was one tied up.
MICHAEL
Look: what matters is we need all the help we can get. And we gotta go break another Chris and another Ryan outta the compound if we want any hope of gettin’ back to the other iteration.
TY
If we want to stand any chance of getting out from under Hunter’s shadow.
MARISSA
They already said they’d do it. You don’t have to torture them with puns, Ty.
TY
Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. Michael, are we officially ready to put these two in the Green column?
MICHAEL
Yup.
TY
Excellent. I have prepared some informational literature for everyone, they should clear up anything that wasn’t covered in this meeting.
SHADOW
Can’t wait to read.
MICHAEL
Grab a copy, head out that way and up the stairs and hang out in the living room for a minute. Sly’s got his guitar hanging on the wall in there if y’all wanna pick at it. I want everyone out of the room for the next one. Ty, you stick around. Marissa, Boris: y’all got somewhere y’all can go?
MARISSA
Motorcycle?
BORIS
Motorcycle.
SCENE TRANSITION.
We hear the time travel noise. ANNE grunts in mild frustration from the discomfort of time travel (“ugh,” “hmmph,” etc.)
ANNE
So this is it. Hello, Michael. Hello Ty. Nice place you’ve got here.
MICHAEL
Nice to see ya, Anne.
TY
You knew that we were going to bring you here?
ANNE
I knew that something was in the works. I’ve been trashing all the surveillance data pointing your way so that Hunter doesn’t have much to go on. You’re welcome.
MICHAEL
I appreciate that.
ANNE
Not to mention that there are no other Ty Betteridges to be found. I knew something was going on there. Who all is here?
MICHAEL
There’s us, Chance and–
TY
Chris and Ryan.
MICHAEL
Chris and Ryan, Boris, and Marissa.
ANNE
A ragtag bunch. No Charlie?
TY
Marissa forbade us.
MICHAEL
We’re leaving her disconnected from the event in case of emergency.
ANNE
So what’s happening? You’re from another version of events where you become a cowboy. That much is clear.
MICHAEL
That’s where we’re trying to get back to. The Hunters issued a correction that put them in charge.
ANNE
That was my understanding as well, though it was more of a hunch than anything. Is that all you want? Control of Base?
MICHAEL
They killed Edgar and August.
ANNE
Edgar? Oh, Mikey killed Edgar.
MICHAEL
Edgar was Mike’s husband.
TY
Ooh, I wince every time someone says it. Mikey killed Edgar.
MICHAEL
August was my boyfriend after– [flustered] August was my boyfriend.
TY
It’s all explained in a very informative packet I put together.
ANNE
I’m starting to understand. This correction was vindictive towards you. And the Hunters run Base into the ground across the next decade, according to the other Annes. Base is just a stepping stone for them.
MICHAEL
What do the council of Annes think of this?
ANNE
They don’t have strong opinions. The Mike stuff will play out how it plays out and they don’t want to engage with it if they can help it. But they won’t stop you, if that’s what you’re asking. And they won’t stop me from participating.
TY
Are you participating?
ANNE
I’ve already been participating. You and the other Mikes have been tripping flags for a little while now and I’ve been making sure that no one notices. The Hunters’ authority doesn’t mean much to me.
MICHAEL
You were in charge of Base in my time, you know.
ANNE
Makes sense. Me and Edgar?
MICHAEL
Yup.
ANNE
Explains a lot. What about the remaining Mikes?
MICHAEL
Haven’t called ‘em in yet. They’re last on the list.
ANNE
Ask Mike about why he was meeting with Hunter this morning at Base.
MICHAEL
Mike was at Base?
ANNE
He was. He seemed like he was hiding something, but I couldn’t get a feel for what it was. Something important definitely happened behind closed doors.
MICHAEL
He ain’t fully on board with the plan yet. I’m hopin’ he’ll change his tune with the gang all here.
ANNE
Let’s hope you’re convincing then. Things have a way of coming back around to him. I think that’s why the Hunters keep him around in the first place.
MICHAEL
You can join us for the convincing, if’n ya want.
ANNE
I’d like that. [Fondly] He’s my fourth challenge prize, after all. I need to see to his wellbeing.
TY
So, what do you think, Michael? Is that another one for the Green column?
MICHAEL
Yup.
TY
Excellent. Anne, there is a briefing packet waiting for you with an outline of our plans and what outcomes we are hoping to achieve, so that you can familiarize yourself before the mission.
ANNE
Great. Are you receptive to notes? I have some ideas.
TY
Certainly.
MICHAEL
Glad to have ya, Anne. Just one more meeting to go…
SCENE TRANSITION.
We hear the time travel noise. MIKE and MIKEY grunt in frustration and disorientation at the time travel.
MARISSA
Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.
MIKEY
Hey… everybody. I haven’t had this many guns pointed at me since I did the third challenge.
CHANCE
We might have gotten carried away.
MICHAEL
Nah, this feels appropriate.
MIKE
I don’t know what’s going on here, but this cowboy stranded us in the future. You can’t believe anything that he says.
ANNE
And what were you doing in the future, Mike? Breaking protocol?
MARISSA
What Michael did was explained in Ty’s brief, which I think we can all agree was very informative.
ANNE, MICHAEL, BORIS, CHANCE, SHADOW
[Variations on “Yeah,” “yep,” Yes,” “Agreed,” “Very informative,” etc. Give me a couple options.]
MICHAEL
We’re reversing Hunter’s correction whether you’re with us or not, pard, so best get with us.
MIKEY
If you’d let me get a word in edgewise! We remember now. Michael, we remember. Not everything, but something happened inside of Tier 3 in the future and now we remember Edgar.
CHANCE
You were inside of Tier 3!?
MIKE
There was another cowboy Michael inside of Tier 3. He took us to the boulders but something went wrong at the second location and he died.
TY
What went wrong at the second location?
MIKE
I just told you! Michael died!
TY
Sounds like everything went alright to me. Of course he died. That is the cost of using the second location. It’s an extremely powerful and closely guarded emergency beacon. You have to be willing to make an enormous sacrifice to use it.
ANNE
Could he not have made an iteration do it?
TY
I wouldn’t be surprised if that was accounted for somehow. I’m no expert, but the boulder communications device is of great interest to the compound. We didn’t learn where the second location was, but we uncovered some documents pertaining to its use. It sounds to me like everything went according to plan, Mike. What happened next?
MIKE
We were sent back to this present.
MICHAEL
When did you remember Edgar?
MIKEY
Before that, when we were trying to sneak out of Tier 3. We made it as far as Tier 2 and then we snapped back into Tier 3 with the memories.
TY
You probably never left Tier 3. Tier 3 contains a generative spacial technology that can create all sorts of paths and buildings. It’s quite difficult to transport anything in or out of there because it’s like a moving target. You were probably tricked into thinking that you were going where you intended to go. Again, it sounds like the plan worked out perfectly. You remember Edgar and you’re back here in time to help correct the timeline. That was the point, correct?
MIKEY
I guess so…
ANNE
And is that why you looked so off after meeting with Hunter today?
MIKE
Yeah? It— I— I mean– Mikey and I split up. I took the calculator and went to see Hunter. Mikey went to see Ty but he wasn’t there…?
BORIS
Did you walk Bruno?
MIKE
Boris, of course I walked Bruno. I traversed time and space to give that puppy a walk.
MICHAEL
What did Hunter say?
MIKE
He acknowledged that our Michael was erased and that it was a corrective error and they were working on fixing it. It was never intended to happen, which is why we all remember him.
MARISSA
Bullshit.
MIKE
I agree. But I had to sit there and watch H give me orders, knowing what he did to us and him not knowing that I know. So I had to push it down and pretend not to be rattled, then I used the calculator and came back home. Nothing much else happened until we wound up here.
MIKEY
And there are no more Tys at the compound? I got some… pictures from one of the Tys who was supposed to be helping, but I don’t get it? Like, what’s a picture of an elephant and a dog being best friends supposed to tell me?
TY
Oh. That was for me, I think. Not me specifically, but any of us who managed to get out. He must have sent that on the way to neutralization. How tragic. Thanks for telling me about that, Mikey.
MIKEY
Any time…?
MICHAEL
So, you remember. The whole Base is here. We’re all ready to fight. We even got Boris with us. We have a plan, courtesy of Outlaw Ty here. Are you ready, Mike? Mikey?
ANNE
Don’t worry. It’s not just Ty’s plan. I have notes.
MARISSA
And we’ve got grenades.
CHANCE
And we’re tired of being underground. Can you please say you’re in so we can go back upstairs?
SHADOW
We get claustrophobic easily.
BORIS
We will put down weapons if you agree.
MIKEY
Fine! Yes! We’re in. Of course we’re in. And Chance– Chris? Chris is right. There are way too many people down here. The sooner we can head upstairs, the better.
TY
It’s decided then. Green?
MICHAEL
Green. The real plannin’ starts now. Everybody head upstairs, take a breather. We’ll regroup this evening and start hammerin’ on them plans. Deal?
EVERYONE
[Various “yeahs,” You got it,” “sounds like a plan,” give me a few of these.]
MICHAEL
See y’all then. Mike, can you hang back a sec?
TY
Do you need me as well, Michael?
MICHAEL
Nah, just me and Mike.
MIKE
Uhh… sure, Michael.
WALLA LINES AS EVERYONE GOES UPSTAIRS:
MARISSA
Wanna get back on the bike?
BORIS
Of course. He said it belonged to his boyfriend? Another cowboy?
MARISSA
From the looks of it, yeah. Never met the guy.
SHADOW
I can’t believe we got in this mess.
CHANCE
We were already in a mess. You wanna try that First Aid Kit Song again?
SHADOW
Yeah. I think I understand the harmonies now.
ANNE
Think this will be any harder than the third challenge?
MIKEY
Harder than my third challenge? Yeah. Harder than your third challenge? No. Not by a long shot.
END WALLA. We hear the door shut. Only Mike and Michael remain.
MICHAEL
Remember when it was just us? Gettin’ poor ol’ Mikey boy out of trouble.
MIKE
Those were the days. You killed a guy just for looking at you funny.
MICHAEL
[Chuckles.] Something got into me. I’m glad it did. My sharpshooter instincts saved us more than once. [Pause and then deep sigh.]
There is a long pause.
MIKE
What gave it away?
MICHAEL
I’m sorry, Mike.
MIKE
What gave it away, Michael?
MICHAEL
I took your goddamn calculator when I was in your apartment. Story don’t add up.
MIKE
I should have known. H figured me out, Michael. He brought me there himself. He knew that I knew. He started picking me apart.
MICHAEL
What did he offer you?
MIKE
Edgar. Just Edgar, not the rest of it, if I could manage to keep a lid on everything. I was weak.
MICHAEL
Yes, you were. Does he know where you are?
MIKE
No. There’s no way for him to know.
MICHAEL
And the bunker’s a faraday cage, so even if he planted a bug it wouldn’t phone home to him.
MIKE
You’re still safe here.
MICHAEL
I’m sorry, Mike.
MIKE
This won’t affect you, will it?
MICHAEL
I ain’t your Michael.
MIKE
I’m thankful for that. Goodbye, Michael. I’m sorry. If it works, I’ll see you back in the good times.
MICHAEL
See you then, partner.
We hear a gunshot and a thud.
END THEME PLAYS.
WOE.BEGONE 